"I know my limits"

"I know my limits" will never mean the same thing again.

I said this Friday evening as we were all drinking at our party, talking about the evening ahead of us. They said either were going all out, or not drinking at all. The plan was to go to Bruges the next morning and come back that night. A day adventure. We said - lets go for it and hope for the best. After all, Paddy and I had partied the night before London and we made it just fine. Sorta.

So the night was fantastic - we had a bunch of people at our place, talking, mingling and so on and then we headed out - to the mangrove - an awesome rum bar we had heard about. Funny story #1: Paddy didnt quite make it in; not at all. It started with people turning her hairdo into princess Leah before leaving our apartment, and hoping she would take it down (which she didnt). But we had a good laugh just the same. After vodka shots, tequila and some vodka limons; her hair looked pretty damn stylish to say the least.

So back to the mangrove - Paddy isnt getting in - but unlike Canada, the bouncer still let her in and told her to sit down until she sobered up a bit. Insane. Great - so we found some crackers. Yeah, they had the mini ritz crackers in bowls. Its like they knew we were coming. So we sobered her up and had a rockin good time at the mangrove.

High on life.

We are walking back, of all nights not a really late night. Say 230ish. So we are all walking back, a little group of us when all of a sudden we see a dog approaching. A dog with no leash, barking coming towards us. Paddy and I freeze, kinda scared, kinda not in the proper mindset, and we start backing up. Naturally we have our arms link. Then...BAM.

We fell 15+ feet into what we though was a black hole.
Nope. Turns out it is a french backyard. And the first one we had seen since getting there.

We had backed up and fell down into a french backyard. No freaking way. How did this happen!?
a) this would only ever happen to Paddy and I so were laughing
b) there was no fence, no warning signs, nada. Just street, drop, backyard. Of course.
c) the dog was scary okay, so we had every right backing up.

So Paddy and I are laughing as to how the hell we managed to fall, and looking around trying to take in all the info around us. Then I go to stand up....not happening. Not at all. Something wasnt right.

So im crying, Paddy is trying to find a way to climb out (not even close btw, that wall was HUGE). And Laura is trying to call 112 (911). So shortly after the ambulance arrives, a nice big looking crew of young guys to our rescue. They start laughing. Asking the same question as us: How the hell did you guys get down there?

So they grab a ladder.... A LADDER. That's how far we are down this hole of doom. So they climb down and quickly grasp that I don't find this funny anymore and I'm hurt. Super. "Walk up the ladder miss". My response "I don't f-ing think so. ARE YOU CRAZY!? NO WAY!". Clearly I had no choice, slash Paddy yelling at me to do it so we don't have to live in that hole for the rest of our lives. Great. I struggle my way up and the rest is kinda a blur. They put me in the ambulance and the next thing I know Im squeezing the crap out of a paramedics hand, telling him I like the feel of his latex gloves. What -- they are soft. Then one guy went to touch my collarbone and I lost it. Not very nice words, however, I was in pain. Paddy and Basia were in the ambulance with me, so they got some amusement out of it.

Speaking of which, good time to note, that Paddy is superhuman. She came out of this whole damn thing without a single injury. Unreal.

Once we got to the hospital the blur continues - im naked in one of those creepy "i can see your bum" robes, and I have probes and I'm on one of those push you through the hall beds. Super. Back to sleep. They must have given me drugs instantly, because I don't remember getting x-rays, or getting undressed, or anything. I remember giving them my earrings though - stupidly enough. And I was so worried about my black boots. And reminding them that this had to be quick because I was going to Bruge at 9am. Yeah....right.

My night quickly turned into an episode of Grey's Anatomy: Lille Edition, episode "I know my limits".

So I wake up to the news that I have broken my collarbone in 2 places and that I have a hairline fracture in my foot. Pardon? I did what? I have never broken a bone in my life, and of course, I break one in France. Yeah well, I guess I have never fallen 15 feet before either. Chalk it up on the list of firsts.

I quickly became the hit of the hospital floor, I had all these nurses (male and female) coming in constantly joking around with me, teasing me, trying to lift my spirits I suppose. Them and morphine did really make the day a lot better. That and not being able to see myself in a mirror. I could only imagine the black makeup all over my face, my hair in knots and covered in bruises and dirt. Yeah....so hot.

Then it got worse...they asked me to pee in a basin. Yeah that thing you slide under your ass, like im 90 or something. I couldnt pee under pressure. a) I would be like a 2 year old wetting the bed, I was sure I was gonna miss and b) how do you know where to sit? I had no idea....so I pushed my emergency "call a hot nurse" button and two guys helped my sorry self and my morphine drip to the can. Yesssssss.

Then, the phone rang. I'm staring at it and yet I can do nothing about it. I can't move, I can't reach it and so I stared. Hoping I would be Matilda and could make it fly towards me any second. Not a chance. I have no luck. So one of the guys came into my room and informed me I had a phone call; its Basia my roommate! Her and Paddy are coming to visit! Yay! Friends!

But first - I have to put on the brace. Mannnn oh man was I dreading this. I had spent the whole night without anything for my collarbone, except for the fact that I was out of it, so I didnt move, and I didnt really grasp my injury since I wasn't all that conscious, which helped too. So the two funny guys came in to help me. I sit up and they start making jokes about my black bra, trying to be funny and loosen me up before they squish me in this thing. They ask me to put my shoulders back like a football player or something, and I laugh; "I am" I said. Yeah, didnt look like it, but sure enough they got the brace on. Fabulous. Relief actually. Just as I get it on, one of the guys laughed saying two girls were at the door! My friends! He said how do you know? I joked around saying that the girls must be for me! Who else? And he said "Two good looking brown haired girls?" Yep! That's my girls. His response: "Of course you have good looking friends, I'm not surprised at all." Thank you kind sir. Compliment taken.

So they finally make it there and things were a little better. Except laughing, Paddy kept making me laugh which freaking hurt. But man was I glad to have them there. One of the guys came in and said that I was allowed to leave. He asked how I was getting home and I said "the metro". We didnt have a car and now that I think about it, a cab had never occured to me. He said "no, no -- I'll get you an ambulance to take you girls home".

My first and second car ride ever were in an ambulance. Hilarious really.

So he comes back and says to me smiling "I found the two best looking ambulance drivers to take you home....and they are single!". Clearly I had bonded well with the nurses and interns on my floor. They knew me well. And he did well. Cutie mcCutie with the blonde hair was pretty decent to look at. That I was not complaining about.

We finally get to our house and they ask how I'm getting up the stairs. "I'm....walking?". No no, of course not. I get Bar mitzvah taken up the stairs in a chair. OPA. Gosh this was exciting. And once again, I had the cutie mccutie at my feet. I deserved something pretty to look at. I was in pain after all.

And then started my three days of pain. I am currently ending day three, and not gonna lie, I feel like I'm two. I cant do anything. The girls have been fantastic with helping me get into bed, getting dressed, pouring me cereal and lifting my butt out of bed in the morning. I have been told by a very reliable source that the first three days are the worst and then it gets better. I believe it.

I had to go get a check up done at the hospital today again, since its day three, and I have to wear the brace for 4-6 weeks on my chest and the brace on my foot for 6 weeks. Yayyy. Just in time for St. Pattys day :)

But at first I was given 8 pills.....8 single pills. Horsepills rather, but like honestly people, my bone is broken in two places and my foot is fractured. I am not rationing pills like an all dressed hotdog in the war. Give me some damn pills. Of course, the lovely doctor today did so.

So all is well in the world again. Take it day by day, and for now, no class. Not yet, not this week. Its gonna be a movie marathon for the next little while and that is fine by me. I could use some extra sleep.