Always an Adventure

So it came time to take care of my "Sarah Faton" situation...and show them how Eaton is really spelled.

Paddy and I set off yesterday afternoon to visit SMENO (the insurance company) to get our insurance number, our 20 euro reimbursement (very nice) and see what our plan actually covered...seeing as I was broken and all; putting my 198 euro insurance to good use. No need to let it waste.

This was supposed to be an easy take. Guillaume had sent me the address and I sent it to Paddy (aka mapquest) and we were off. I had all my documents and my canada mits. I was set. First thing to note...it snowed here. And then it turned into ice. This is not why I came to France. I came here for the warmer weather and the lack of snow. Guillaume said that he hasnt seen snow like this in all the 14 years he has lived her...super. I guess Canada wanted to get me back.

So Paddy and I are chatting about the proper way to fall if we hit the ice. Seeing as my collarbone is broken I didnt really know how I should fall if I slipped. Paddy kindly pointed out that I didn't have 15 feet to think about the proper way to fall on this one, I was falling on the ground I was already standing on. Thanks smart ass - but it was true.

We finally get to the building. Im buzzing and buzzing (accidentally buzzed a woman - even though I swear I had buzzed the concierge) and alas a man came out. I said we were looking for SMENO, and he so kindly informed us we had the wrong building. Luckily - it was next door. This huge freaking door that had those beauty and the beast rings on the door that knock! I tried - but they didnt't knock. Damn. So i buzzed and I buzzed...nada. Buzzed some more and someone answered! But she didnt say anything. So we buzzed and buzzed some more. Finally a woman answered and we asked if we could come in (its a building...not a bloody castle - of course we can come in). She had to repeat twice to "PUSH" on the door she had already unlocked for us. Great. Very kind. So we enter and its like some courtyard and this beautiful glass door on the left. There is no way an insurance company is in here we said - and sadly - we were right. The lady at the front desk sort of laughed at us and said we indeed were at the SMENO office - but she couldnt help us. Why? YOU ARE THE COMPANY. Whatever - we got directions to "la voix du nord" which happened to be in the grand square 30 seconds from my apartment. Of course Paddy and I would get sent here only to be sent all the way back. This is us we are talking about.

So off we went. The smart cookies we are - we had no problem finding "La Voix du Nord" building. She said it was on the 6th floor. Didn't quite look like there were 6 floors to the building but we went with it anyways. a) we walk in and its a shopping mall - and we're wondering where the hell SMENO would even be. So we go up the escalator and a man is there. He sends us back downstairs to the elevators. b) there are no elevators in the building. Idiots. So we walk around for a bit - ask someone for help (the security guard who had no idea) and alas we went back up the escalators determined to find SMENO. The man wasn't there but a woman was calling us asking what we needed. SMENO. Apparently its not in the building. Now, I understand the french language but I wasn't quite sure where this lady was talking about. She said to go down the escalator, something about a coffee shop and we would see it. I had no idea. So the two guys in the corner are doubled over laughing at Paddy and I - and the lady begins rolling her eyes. Fantastic. She so very nicely came around the corner and literally took us back down the escalator and outside to the building next door. Righttttttt. Wrong. Two other women were outside and informed us that that was not the SMENO building. It was at "La furet du Nord". c) why are so many buildings named after the north!? and in the same grand square. Give us a break.

So after laughing at how dumb we are, and finally seeing the furet du nord building right across the square we went over and entered. It was a book store. Ummmm are you serious? Of course they are. We went to the 6th level. Still a book store. Where the hell is SMENO!?...in the corner. We are picturing an office. Nah - just a little desk right beside the doctor and medicine books. Right. So we wait in line. 2 hours later it's our turn. We sit down and the women looks at us like we're insane when I ask for our "numero de secu". I was right and she was wrong. Simple as that. We handed her some documents and she I asked about the refund that the bank would give us for signing up with SMENO (we needed a letter). She said 40 euros? Paddy and I didnt even make eye contact, but said yes. We were told we would be given 20 euros, but this woman was offering 40. Clearly we were not going to say no. That would be a rookie, foolish mistake.

Yeah well she then brought out this document showing us the insurance package that we had paid for, and how if we paid 7.50 EUR more a month we could have this, or paying 17,50 EUR more would cover us for anything and everything. If we signed up with one of these we could get the 40 euros back, if not - we didnt get any money. Frig. I softly whispered to Paddy that Guillaume had warned me about this - that they would try and sell us things - but to just say no. So we said no. She didnt seem to care and got out the documents to sign us up anyways. I had to repeat: "NO". Perfect. She understood but then mentioned how if we ever had to go to the hospital (which I had to do and she didnt yet know about) or ever needed medication (I have loads of yummy pain killers) or needed physio (which I do need) that insurance would cover. SO it appeared she could tell future. I explained that I had actually broken my collarbone, needed meds and will need physio. She didnt appear to be too shocked. Of course not. That crap is written all over my forehead apparently. But finally - she grasped that we had other insurances at home and were fine.

Man did this take forever. Then the "Faton" thing came up. She needed my card....I gave it to her because she was creating our profiles online. Yeah about that - my last name is wrong. I asked if she could change it for my online profile - she said no. Ugh. In the end, she eventually changed it online, and just changed it on the documents I handed to her. Awesome - gotta love forgery.

By the time Paddy and I had left there this whole shabang had been a 3+ hour adventure. We were exhausted, hungry and I was craving a beer. It wasn't even 430pm. Whatever. I knew of this great chinese food place nearby and Paddy was game (of course). So off we went for our 4th adventure of the day. I get to the place and its closed. I am appalled. HOW COULD IT BE CLOSED!? So I called them; turns out they don't open until 6pm. Fine. Next place. It's always open when I walk by on the way to the metro station AND the girls always order take out from it so its cheap. Just what I like. Except - guess what? - it was closed to. The sign said it should be open until 10pm, but obviously he knew we were coming and locked up for the day. Frig #2. Third time the charm right. I see the door and it looks closed, but I'll try - IT'S UNLOCKED! - except the second door is locked. Frig #3. Paddy at this point is telling me all about karma and how apparently we are not destined to eat chinese food today. I cannot accept this fact so we try a fourth place. CLOSED. Frig #4. Here we are crying laughing at how pathetic and hungry we are. Where can you always rely on? McDonald's. Amen for McDs. Those beautiful golden arches were open as usual and hit the spot of hunger.

Pretty sure you can't take Paddy and I anywhere together. We either fall together, cry laughing together, or we just get told off. However - sorta funny - a little-ish boy came running over to Paddy and I at McDs (its like 5 stories) and said something really fast. Pardon? Just as he was about to repeat, a lady who worked at McDs came over and brought the little boy back down and kicked him out of the store. Who knew kids could get kicked out of McDs? Rather interesting. Funny story #2 - McDs sells alcohol. I think this would create quite the uproar if Canadian McDs sold alcohol - but very cool just the same. The golden arches is a place you go to on the way HOME from the bar to sober up and get some grub - not to buy more alcohol.

Honestly - my theory is that everything here is so complicated that everyone just needs the cheap, easily accessible alcohol at the end of the day. And I have to say - my fav bottle of 1.39 EUR red wine hits the spot everytime.

No wonder everyone loves France.